I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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