but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
