Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Randomize
