wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
