Don't make out with my wife yet
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I just had sex on a roof
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
