Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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