my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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