My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
