he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
