she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
