im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
