Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
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Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
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I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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