what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
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Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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