Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Just invented taco cereal.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Randomize
