my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
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