to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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