he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
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