My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Randomize
