I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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