can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
