Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
