i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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