If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
πππ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize