I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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