i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
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