my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
