okay pat passed out under dana's car
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
