Whod you bang
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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