New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize