why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
