I want to stick my p in your. b.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
