I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
my being single is dangerous.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
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