I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
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That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
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I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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