so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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