Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
