Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
