it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
