in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
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