the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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