Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
