Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
