i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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