all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.