does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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