He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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