yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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