Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
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