So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize
