i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize