At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
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