I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Buhtt sex?
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
