erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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