I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize