FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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