i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Randomize
