R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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