party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Randomize
