My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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