Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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