seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
