After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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