Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
