You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
