fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
