I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Randomize
