I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
